As my Twin Flame and I are now in Union and I have the gift of hindsight on this journey, I decided to share with you the biggest mistakes I made on my own path – things that nearly ruined our relationship.
The following are all stumbling blocks I didn’t even realize were there until I somehow managed to get over them and could look back with clarity to see how close I’d been to derailing the whole connection:
#1) Keeping The Past On a Loop
One of the biggest mistakes I made was that I kept thinking of the past, thinking of old hurt and picturing my Twin Flame with other people. The smallest things could trigger me – a song, or a poem or just seeing someone who reminded me of a certain unhappy situation.
This happened over and over until I learned to stop bringing the past up again – I was shown that the past is gone unless we keep dragging it back. Because the only person who can keep your old hurt alive, is you. And you’re the only one getting hurt. As the Buddha said, it’s like “Drinking poison with the intention of killing someone else.”
The way I finally managed to stop dragging the past up again and again was to clear the energy around the past hurt (to “heal the wound”) and shift my perspective back into love instead of hurt. It worked wonders. And it’s worked for so many other Twins too.
Later I was shown by my guides that every time I got back into jealousy and pain, my energy would literally go up like a wall – blocking my Twin Flame out.
Once I was willing to open my heart again (really, visualizing and intending the doors to open) I could feel that he had loved me the whole time. My perspective had been completely distorted.
#2) Focusing On the Negatives
There can be challenging moments on this journey for sure – but there are also beautiful moments, and this is a connection that defies words: It really is a love beyond love. A love that can lift you up and bring you home to yourself – a love that can illuminate your whole life.
The problem is that we human beings have evolved to look for problems everywhere – it’s how our ancestors survived; they had to find the potential source of death before it found them. Often we get into a loop of thinking over and over about all the difficulties and the hurt between our Twin Flame and ourselves.
I was shown how to shift this: by focusing on gratitude and reliving the happy moments rather than the negatives, my connection with my Twin Flame blossomed beyond anything I could ever have imagined.
I started writing down all the fun and positive things that happened with my Twin, and without realizing (I’ve since read the scientific articles that prove this) I was retraining my brain, constructing new neural pathways. Teaching myself to match my energy to positivity and drawing in more of it.
The thing is: if you’re in a loop of negativity, you’re only inviting in more negativity. It’s like being tuned into a radio station with music you can’t stand – unless you change the channel, you won’t hear different music.
#3) Waiting for Someone Else to Fix Everything
For a long time at the start of this journey I used tarot cards and called psychics looking for predictions for the future, looking for dates and times for when my Twin and I would come together, or for when certain things would happen.
I always felt disappointed when the dates came and nothing had come to pass the way it was “supposed to”. But the more I learned to communicate directly with spirit, the more I was shown that we create our lives ourselves step by step with our Free Will.
There is no one else deciding for us. There are cycles of energy, and sometimes we’re given an extra push but there is no pre-written destiny that keeps you locked to it for life.
It’s up to us to set goals and take action to get there. The great news is that we can create anything we desire. Just set your intention, clear the blocks in the way – and eventually you’ll get there.
#4) Letting Other People’s Opinions Sway Me
One of the first things my Twin Flame advised me on this journey was; “do not let yourself be swayed by the mainstream”.
I didn’t think it would be a problem, until later on in my journey when I encountered more and more skeptics and naysayers (especially through the internet) and somehow they got in my head, making me question everything (I’m sure you recognize thoughts along the lines of: “Am I just imagining it or exaggerating?”, “Could I be making it all up?” or the worst one “Could I be crazy?”)
The truth is that the Twin Flame journey is such a unique experience full of “supernatural” sensations and phenomena, that anyone who hasn’t experienced it cannot really understand it. Therefore I would always advise you to stay true to yourself and disregard the opinions of anyone who is not taking the journey with you.
Look inside, follow your intuition and don’t let others’ ideas and beliefs interfere. Clearing yourself of others’ energy regularly is an enormous help here – if you have others’ energy floating around in your space it can feel extremely confusing and disheartening. Ultimately, only you know.
#5) Not Loving Myself
We tend to look for love outside of ourselves – for the one person who will give us the love we’ve always wanted. At the same time, we often complain and berate ourselves and pull ourselves down with criticism.
Rarely do any human beings feel “good enough” or deserving of the best. Deserving of love, even. And I was no different.
The truth is that love isn’t something others can give you. It’s an energy – you are love. You can make yourself feel love at any given moment by shifting your energy.
Meditating is a huge help in shifting out of any unloving “self talk” we may be running as an automatic monologue in the background of our minds. And if you find meditating a challenge, try guided meditations/creative visualization, as these lead you by the hand by replacing any negative thoughts with positives. I created a specially designed Creative Visualization for Twin Flames, which you can read more about here.
Another thing is to detach slightly from ourselves: try seeing yourself from the outside and treat yourself like you would a dear friend or a child. Take care of yourself, be good to you. It’s seen as “natural” in Western culture to be mean to ourselves, to never be “good enough”. It’s a lie, though.
Forgiving and loving ourselves is essential to being able to accept another’s love. If we don’t feel loveable, we subconsciously sabotage any love others try to give us.
By vibrating at the frequency of love from the inside out, we are in perfect alignment with more and more love from the outside, and in our Twin Flame relationship.
How To Avoid Making the Same Mistakes I Did:
The crazy thing is that all of the above are energetic patterns. They’re not a part of who you are, or who I am or even who I was. The truth is that they’re all things we’ve picked up from others around us.
Growing up, if we have parents who believe that the world is a bad place and that we have to be careful, or that “life is hard” and “love hurts”, guess what? We take it on too. We absorb it into ourselves and sooner or later we start to believe that it’s who we are. But it really isn’t.
I have experienced negative core beliefs like that to be one of the biggest blocks on the Twin Flame Journey, so we go through clearing these in the Energy Clearing Sessions for Twin Flames.
So Who Are You?
We can go into our energy field and clear out anything that doesn’t serve us. From depression to jealousy to addictions to anything.
Everything is energy. We are energy. Pure source energy at the core, but nearly always with all kinds of negative, congested beliefs and patterns and energies patched on top of it.
So if there’s something that’s hurting us or holding us back, we can clear it. All we need is to be willing, and to have the right tools.
Bringing the Light Back
A great way to illustrate it is:
Think of a cloudy day at the beach. The sky can look grey and overcast – but the sun is actually shining the whole time! The sun is out in the solar system shining 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s just that the clouds have temporarily obscured it. As soon as the clouds part, the sun can be seen to shine again.
This is how we are. A bright light that often has been dulled by the “clouds” of energy we’ve taken on. When we meet our Twin Flame, everything in the way of that pure bright “sunshine” gets pushed to the fore so we can release it.
Many Twin Flames take this as a sign that the Twin Flames are bad for each other, but it doesn’t have to be that way – with energy tools it’s easy and painless to “clear away the clouds” and allow the inner sunshine to radiate more powerfully than ever.
I Believe in You!
I have been in your shoes. I know how hard this can feel. I also know that you can change things around if you’re unhappy, because I have. I had no experience with any of these things but I learned as I went along and now my Twin and I are closer than ever.
You are so much more powerful than you think – I believe in you (even when you might not believe in yourself)! x
Until next time, I’m sending you love and light on your continued journey <3
Want More? For an easy, fun way to manage your mindset, elevate your vibration and harmonize your journey with your Twin, have a look at the Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames.
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