Can You Fall In Love With You? The Template To Every Other Connection You Have – Turning Alchemy Inside Out… Plus, How To Apply Self Love To Real Life…
First of all I want to thank you all for being a part of the growing Twin Flames 11:11 community – I’m so happy to read about this site makes a positive difference to so many of you!
If you’ve contacted me personally I want you to know I’m so grateful for you reaching out – I know it can feel very vulnerable to open your heart that way…
Unfortunately I get so many emails and messages from Twins every week that I don’t get the chance to respond personally.
But I want you to know I read everything! And what I do see in the hundreds of emails I get every week is that Twins all over the world are dealing with the same issues.
I do my best to answer here on the blog to help as many Twin Flames as possible, so if you have a question you’d like answered please email us with the subject Q&A Question or leave your comment below.
The Importance Of “Chakra Health” For Twin Flames…
And if you’re struggling right now, please don’t give up – I’ve seen things change dramatically for the better for so many!
No matter what’s happened before or how hard things feel for you right now, know that there are solutions and answers, and things really can change for you!
If you haven’t already, please go ahead and download my Free Twin Flame Help Kit and get started with the energy cleanse kit, as this will cleanse your chakras and uplift your energy almost immediately. (Read more about chakras here)
Why Twin Flame Love Isn’t Just About Romance
You may already be familiar with the Twin Flame Mirror. (If not, click here).
In essence, the journey of Twin Flames isn’t just about two people falling in love and living happily ever after. It’s about journeying into wholeness within and with our Twin Soul.
Reaching an inner state of self acceptance, self love and wholeness… grounding into your authenticity, healing your shadows and “alchemizing” into love… Are crucial both not just for your own well-being, but also for your Twin Flame connection.
Your relationship with yourself affects every other relationship you have in life… Especially with your “other self”.
So although I’ve touched on it in articles before, today’s post is about SELF LOVE.
Mastering Self Love On The Twin Flame Journey – 7 Keys
1) Don’t Feel Bad If It’s Hard To Do
One of the biggest eye-openers spirit showed me on this journey, is WHY it’s so hard for people to love themselves…
You’ve probably seen about a gazillion memes, beautiful quote images online telling you to love yourself, heard friends, yoga teachers, healers, other Twins tell you… You must love yourself.
So why is it so hard? That’s really the crux of the situation.
It’s easy to TALK about self love. It’s easy to set an intention. But to LIVE self love, to really FEEL accepting, forgiving and loving towards ourselves NO MATTER WHAT…
How many of us really live like that? It took me a long time to get it right. And it came with spirit’s help. Because they showed me – lack of love for ourselves always COMES from somewhere. If you don’t love yourself, it’s not your “fault”.
We don’t berate and criticize ourselves because it’s natural or because we think it’s a good idea… No. It’s because somewhere, somehow… we were told or shown that we didn’t deserve love no matter what.
Most of us were just raised by or around people (and a society) that didn’t know know how to love themselves either. So that’s how we “learned to be human”.
I was one of those people.
The Twin Flame journey tends to push these things up – forcing us to confront our “demons” through reflecting back to us a mirror of our inner state. “As within, so without”. This is how it works between the “mirror souls” – and many people struggle with this for years.
It took my Twin Flame years to help me change my feeling programming around myself. Out of shame and “not good enough”, into a gentler, more accepting inner wholeness.
And it happened with a two-pronged approach: 1) Clearing old negativity, healing childhood wounds, 2) Instilling new positive programming and belief systems. (Repeat, rinse, repeat until it sticks).
Now, I feel shocked when I’m around people from my “old life” – how they talk about themselves and others. The judgments. The criticisms. The meanness… And I would never ever want to go back.
Life with self love FEELS so much better – and it’s the “secret miracle worker” for the Twin Flame journey.
2) Your Soul Is Always Waiting For You To Unite… With Yourself!
This theme is being brought to a head in the Twin Flame process – especially since Uranus entered Taurus in May 2018 (he’ll stay there for the next 7 years)
And you may be seeing it around you — the desperate need for new thinking, for love, for change, for higher vibrations when it comes to mastering “self love” on our Twin Flame Journey.
If you’re seeing negativity and lack and limitation all around right now, be aware that it’s a message.
You’re being called on to remember why you’re here, to get going with your journey…. through the path of greater SELF LOVE!
But so often, because of our great focus on our Twin Flame journey, we forget the most important lesson; this great cosmic lesson so SELF LOVE.
Because without first mastering love for self, how then can we master the unified divine connection with our Twin Flame? This is a challenge many Twins are unwittingly being pushed to conquer by their souls.
3) Self Love To Ignite Twin Flame Alchemy
Self-love and self acceptance is a huge boost for Twin love and manifestation of joy in life. When we don’t love ourselves we’re not open to the true depths of love our Twin is capable of bringing. It’s like we’re off the grid to it.
An open heart is essential to fully flow with the divine love of the connection, allowing it to unfold in positivity rather than “the dreaded roller-coaster”…
Many times mutual feelings of inadequacy keeps Twins locked in a stalemate or cycles of back and forths, with closed off hearts for years – unwittingly stalling the union of unconditional love indefinitely.
Spirit’s message is that going within will help heal the wounds in our hearts. The reason so many are unable to open to love is that they are carrying deeper wounds (this is why Twin Flames run! Because they’ve been hurt before… Read more here)
4) Comparison Is The Opposite Of Self Love
Spirit also shows us that one of the most damaging factors for Twin Flames is the tendency to compare ourselves to others… Encouraged by advertising, social media and human “3D” programming…
When we compare ourselves to others all the time, no matter how unconsciously, it keeps us alienated from our own wholeness. And it becomes a severe block to Twin Flame Unity.
Remember your Mirror Soul is always reflecting back to you your OWN feelings and attitudes towards your self on some level (watch a video on that here).
So if something makes you feel bad about yourself – unfollow, delete, stop reading, switch the channel… Because it is our human pattern of comparing ourselves all the time that keeps us stuck in the “not good enough” cycle.
Remember, what we focus on is what we get more of in energy terms…
5) Healthy Boundaries – Avoiding Overwhelm
Sometimes self love comes through standing strong in our truth. Listening to our soul’s messages (intuition). If something or someone is imposing on you, not respecting your highest good… You’re allowed to say no.
You’re allowed to take time out. You’re allowed to put yourself first. Because if you get drained taking care of everyone else or pleasing others, it lowers your vibration powerfully.
Remember, love won’t pour from an empty cup. Fill yourself up with love first!
Spirit is so eager to say this: Loving yourself, literally filling your being with the energy of love, helps your health, your abundance, your wellbeing, your “luck” and OF COURSE your Twin Flame connection.
If you feel tired or stressed, take some time to write down how things could be better.
Would a certain friend be better off as an acquaintance, or not in your life? Would you be better off with a different kind of job? Would you feel better if you cut down on caffeine/online activities/drinking and took some vitamins?
Some things are a bigger project to adjust, but step by step you can get there. Look at the notes you made, and now see what are 2 baby steps you can take to get there?
6) Shadow Influences That Push Love Away…
Remember, that harmony and experiencing a physical “3D” reunion on the Twin Flame journey begins with inner harmony as well as harmony with other self.
Being in a state of self love is magnetic to attracting and maintaining harmony with divine counterpart. Like attracts like – especially between the Twin Souls. You are always affecting each other with our inner state and mental commentary.
The easiest and best way to align with self love over time (and LOVE in general) is to sense the feeling of what we interact with: Does something feel good, light, exciting, positive? Or does it feel heavy, congested, low, bad? This is your compass.
You yourself know whether you’re generally critical and judgmental toward yourself, or whether you’re habitually supportive and forgiving of yourself.
(PS: Ego is good at masking this – judgmental attitudes towards others, pushing oneself hard to be “perfect” in some way, boastfulness and more, are ego all trying to mask inner insecurity, fear, shame or lack… Not genuine self love)
In order to really open up to self love, and to allow the flow of love to open to us and uplift our Twin Flame journey, we have to be honest about the “shadow influences” working to keep us out of love.
The little “voice” or habitual thoughts or emotions that tell us we’re no good, that we should be more like XYZ, that things will never work out, that we’re not enough for our Twin Flame, and thousands of other things I’m sure you’ve experienced on your journey…
These sources of influence include 3D belief systems, genetic patterns, others’ priorities and desires for us, ego negativity, fears… All of these will try to make the choices *for you* – to steer you away from wholeness, acceptance, love.
7) How Do You Talk About Yourself…?
Remember, you’re the boss. You’re in fact so much more powerful than you might have been lead to think. You and your words are a major factor in what you attract, align with and invite in energetically.
ESPECIALLY as a Twin Flame in Ascension. Your words can tear you down or build you up.
It’s time to walk our talk. And yes, our inner dialogue is an area we don’t often see as “self love” on our Twin Flame journey. But it has a profound effect. As long as we speak, think and write about our connection and our Twin Flame from the negative polarity, that’s what we reinforce.
Today, begin to write down and talk about and think about all the amazing things you love about yourself; mind, body and spirit.
If your first thought is that there’s nothing good about you, then you know you have some work to do. Ask your soul to help light up positive things for you and make sure you focus on them.
Transformation, toward greater self love, usually happens slowly and constantly, dissolving blocks and negativity and limited thinking over time.
It can still be highly uncomfortable. It’s about letting go of what we’ve got used to, no matter how damaging or limiting it’s been for us.
If you’re not really feeling self-loving, try starting with acceptance and showing yourself more understanding. You’ll soon be ready for the next chapter.
“You’re allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time!”
So tune in to your heart and your energy. They’re your compass for this part of the journey.
Are you feeling good inside? Yes? If so it means you’re operating from a place of love and acceptance for self.
If you’re feeling low or bad inside, it’s a clear sign that something negative is active in your system. Somewhere, a judgment, belief about the future or the universe, your Twin or yourself, is pulling you down.
Can You See It? I Can!
The deeper underlying fact about self love is, it most often doesn’t happen just because we want it to… Or because people tell us we should love ourselves.
In most cases, there are actual blocks, old hurts and early life experiences that have “wired” us away from inner wholeness and love.
And in order to resurrect into self acceptance, self love, we have to deal with those inner “mis-wirings” in order to get lasting results.
The truth is you’re an infinite soul – you deserve love no matter what!
I value you, for being uniquely you. It’s my hope that you will see just how much you deserve, and through that, to allow it to show up tangibly for you. Including with your Twin Flame.
As always I’m sending you love and light for your continued journey! x
Want more? For a step by step, high vibrational method to harmonize your journey with your Twin, have a look at my Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames.
“Thank you for your beautiful vibrational alignment program and all of your healings (I love the twin flame harmony healing and do it daily!!!). I only just recently started doing your tools for the past month and have found the guided meditations are AMAZING! I’ve been doing violet flame mantras and clearing work with the archangels for years now, but your guided meditations really help me!”
– Erin, Indiana, USA
Alternatively you can try my Free starter kit!