As I gradually got more and more to grips with my new-found friend in the spirit world who had turned up in my life out of the blue, I couldn’t help but wonder why he was really here and what the point of it all was. I didn’t consciously remember him, yet it really felt like we had known each other forever. I’d never really asked to be put in touch with the dead either, yet here I was communicating with my spirit guide in the afterlife (and most of the time he acted more lively than anyone I’d ever met among the living…!)
So I started looking for answers to the dozens of new questions that had started popping up in my mind on a daily basis. Once I found out that the person who’d been visiting my dreams for the past few months wasn’t just a figment of my imagination I began searching online for similar stories, thinking there must be something out there that could explain this. On the first site I came to, someone on the forum had discussed dream visitations much like mine, but I also discovered that the main part of the site was dedicated to the services of an energy healing expert who was in touch with the other side and also offered readings to speak to any loved ones who had passed away…
Referred by a spirit
At this point I was getting really impatient to get to the bottom of this mystery that had suddenly shown up in my life – so I emailed the healer and asked her whether I had really had a visitation by my spirit guide or whether I was likely a bit crazy. I agonized as I waited for her answer for several days, and I heaved a sigh of relief as I finally saw her name in my inbox and read that what had happened to me wasn’t uncommon in her experience. She also mentioned that spirits often send people to her and she took it as a sign that we were meant to get in touch – that my spirit friend had sent me to her deliberately.
At her suggestion I booked myself a full chakra clearing, thinking it might at the very least be an interesting experience and maybe I’d feel more relaxed and energized afterwards. In the mean time I scoured the internet for information on spirit guides and how to talk to them.
Most of the articles said that your guides can only help when asked, because of the Law of Free Will – so I wrote a note to my new acquaintance and slipped it under my pillow, asking him who he really was to me and thanking him for making me feel so good and loved in my dreams. Just in case, I also asked out loud if he would please help me with my appointment and make sure everything went OK because I was completely new to all this and I was a bit unsure of it all. I couldn’t really hear an answer but I felt that it was the right thing to do.
“Are you adopted?”
When the night finally came that I phoned the healer on Skype for my appointment, I was again full of nerves – ice-cold clammy hands and my voice was kind of shaky when I said “hello”. She seemed confident and very skilled, and reassured me that this clearing process was completely harmless and it wouldn’t hurt at all. As she started scanning through my space, the first thing she asked me was “Are you adopted?” My eyes widened in surprise and I said “… No! At least not that I know of… I mean, I kind of look like my father and mother, and they have photos of me in the hospital as a new born… Nobody has ever mentioned anything like that to me. Why?”
She said, “It’s weird … There’s the energy of a man here in all your chakras and you’re more similar to him than you are to your biological father…” She waited for an answer but I had no explanation for that whatsoever (although at this point I guess both you and I realize what this meant…).
Starseeds and indigos
She continued to look through my chakras and cleared out energy blockages – anger, sadness, feelings of rejection, some arguments I’d had with friends, the fact that I’d felt alienated from others growing up (things I’d never told anyone and was kind of surprised that this stranger could somehow see or sense that across the phone – and across the Atlantic ocean, at that!) She explained that left untouched, negative blockages hinder the free flow of energy through the body and can lead to stagnation and friction both inside the body and with people we interact with, and that our energy sends out a signal to anyone we come into contact with – causing them to react positively or negatively to us. If we subconsciously expect people to be hurtful, they’ll sense this and feel on edge around us, and so on. I found the healer’s comments interesting but kind of far out at this point, but I let her continue anyway.
She told me I seemed like what she called a “starseed” or an “indigo” child… Again, I had no idea what she was talking about. Searching for a way to explain it to me, she said: “Like you never belonged here on earth, among your family. It feels like you’re born in the wrong element almost, like you’re a water plant that was put in soil …”
I honestly had felt like this my whole life, but it wasn’t something that had ever crossed my mind – that I wasn’t from earth! – and at that point in life I wasn’t open to spiritual terms much (my associations to spirituality were mostly related to new age hippies, churches, the Buddha, the Quran…) I was kind of evasive and said I’d look it up but what was really more pressing for me was finding out about this spirit guide person, so I asked and she confirmed that yes, he was my spirit guide and he seemed very close to me. She didn’t say much more than that because we ran out of time, but she mentioned that she had a course which included learning how to talk to your guides yourself. Now that was definitely something I was interested in.
She also promised me that the clearing we had just done would enable my spirit friend to reach out to me more because my energy was clearer – and boy, was she right…! As the days and weeks went on this mystery would only grow deeper and weirder…
Twin Flames – souls that belong together
That night I went to sleep feeling like something had shifted in me, and the next day as I looked over the information I had from this spirit guide so far, I remembered a term I’d come across on my online searches – “Twin Flames”; two souls that belong together, that were once one and the same and then split apart to increase their experience and speed up their evolution by separating… I pretty much dismissed it straight away: sounded pretty wild to me. More like a romance novel than something I could actually believe in.
However … from the messages I’d heard from my guide in the night and the things my he had said to me in readings, it was a perfect fit and I just couldn’t get around it no matter how else I tried to logically explain this weird connection. Messages from my spirit friend himself, like: “we are the same”, “no surgeon on earth can weld these parts together” … and when I asked how long we’d known each other: “eternally … since the beginning of consciousness” and when I asked if he was always there with me or whether he came and went, the answer was “there is always a cord … an attachment”, and “we are cut of the same cloth”.
War in my mind: Logic vs. intuition
Yet I was in denial. I felt that this was way too far-out to be true. Twin Flames – I’d only ever heard of soul mates before, and to me even that was simply a romantic term people used to explain attraction. So I dismissed it as a fantasy. At that point, I remember actually feeling pity for anyone who’d be so delusional as to think they “belonged” with someone else, that they were “made to be together” somehow. To my modern analytical mind the whole thing sounded preposterous.
And still … in the background of my being, a glowing heavy sensation prevailed – a feeling that I simply couldn’t deny. A depth and completeness of love I’d never felt before, and feeling like I knew this dead person I’d never met in life … not to mention all the messages I’d gotten. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it. All I knew was that this feeling of love wasn’t going away. It felt like someone had lit a lamp inside me, a glowing nightlight that had been in darkness all my life. Something had changed inside. Big time.
This whole situation had me torn… How could I, someone who had always believed in proof, in empirical science, in reason – a child of the enlightenment – suddenly change my whole life around and start believing in spirits and the idea of eternal love?
Film clips from the other side
That night as I was about to go to sleep, I experienced something completely new: what I’d describe as a spiritual film clip. In my mind’s eye I saw, vivid as day, my spirit guide smiling and dancing around in the street – “Singing in the Rain”-style. I thought in my head “Why are you so happy?” and out of the blue he came closer, right up to me and said brightly, smiling and with a kiss on each of my cheeks between each word: “Because! You! Love! Me!”
I couldn’t help but laugh, he was so adorable. And he was right. Just like that, in a split second, he could make me happy – light a fuse of love in me. It was like he had a magic key to my heart – at the click of his fingers, he could make me feel at ease and loved. No wonder I wanted to find out more…
Just as I was drifting off, I heard this answer to calm my torrent of doubts:
Let it wash over you
The words, the message
I am you and you are me
We were together
Breaking the distance
You’re the best thing that ever happened to me
Message received 10.09.2013 at 02:02AM
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