Q&A: “My Twin Flame Keeps Pulling Away Even Though We’re in Love”


twin flames love

This week’s question comes from Kristen D.

“My Twin keeps being hesitant despite our strong connection and doesn’t want to say openly that we’re in a relationship. He had an unhappy recent relationship and compares me to his ex. He keeps pulling away – are there any spiritual tools I could implement so my Twin Flame can understand this bond we have and not be scared?”


Thank you so much for this question, Kristen! I appreciate that this must be challenging for you but rest assured that there are always solutions.

It sounds like your Twin Flame may have core beliefs along the lines of “relationships are unhappy”, “commitment leads to pain or stagnation”. This would cause him to avoid to his best ability anything that indicates commitment. As you mention, his last relationship seems to have impacted his expectations of what a relationship is like (and in addition to this it would be helpful to cut any cords he may have to that person still – to reset his energy and open him up).

Blessings in Disguise

In a strange way, his attitude is actually a compliment to you because it means he is instinctively seeking to protect what the two of you have from what he perceives as a destructive, self-fulfilling prophecy – i.e. “relationships are unhappy”. It could even be a belief that: “once you commit, the relationship is headed for destruction/ending”.

You could experiment with shifting your perspective to instead of feeling hurt by his withdrawal and reluctance to be open (which would be completely understandable) and instead try to view his feelings and reactions as a blessing, a statement of how deeply he cares for you and that he is trying to protect what the two of you share.

This would alter the energy between you and allow him to feel safer emotionally… and often this will actually spur a reluctant person to change their behavior.

Rooting Out Limiting Beliefs

Beliefs/energetic patterns like “love hurts” and “relationships are doomed” are embedded deep in a person’s psyche – usually from childhood, but if you believe in reincarnation it can stem from past lives – and it’s not something they are consciously aware of.

After seeing childhood wounds affecting so many Twin Flames, I created the Inner Child Healing where you get to interact with your Twin’s inner child and work with them to release damaging beliefs and hurt. Have a look here.

Often we see limiting subconscious beliefs “pop up” to the surface in our lives when something comes up to challenge them – for example, if a person has taken on the belief that happiness in love is impossible and they have seen others experience this disappointment around them while growing up, this subconscious belief will come up in the form of automatic self-sabotage once that person encounters a situation that is aligned with happiness in love.

It sounds like this is what’s going on with your Twin – in connecting with you, his limiting beliefs around love are challenged.

Once a person has accepted a “core belief” such as “love hurts” into their consciousness, their ego will seek out ways to validate and confirm this negative perception. It will cause battles, even self-sabotage in the face of anything that threatens this core belief.


The great thing is that once he lets go of his limiting beliefs, a big block to your Union will be gone – and there is a solution! Like in psychoanalysis where the therapist uses association and other ways to bypass the ego’s control mechanisms and get to the root of the problem, we can energetically find the cause of this belief – going right back to the first incident where the person accepted this illusion as reality, and we can delete it out of their energy field for good.

We go through eradicating common negative belief structures about love and relationships in the Energy Clearing Sessions for Twin Flames, and the Complete Harmony Healing for Twin Flames cleanses out any old negative energy, downloading new templates for love and unifying and uplifting both Twins’ energy into a collective path.

Removing blocks and negative belief structures is painless, fast and creates lasting results when done with energy clearing tools.

You can also help your Twin Flame by maybe mentioning in conversation, in a relaxed, no-pressure way that love is infinitely varied and that any past negative experiences needn’t impact your relationship – or you can energetically clear these things wherever they impact your relationship.

It also sounds like your Twin’s recent unhappy relationship has impacted his “blueprint perception” of women and he sees you tinged through this skewed perspective. This can also be cleared. And because the Twin Flames share a collective energy field, one Twin can clear for both.

I’d recommend using energy clearing for a few weeks to experience the shifts possible. Try my Free Help Kit for Twin Flames and the deep energy cleanse tool included. You can also read about other Twins’ amazing experiences with energy clearing here.

Conscious Manifesting

Lastly, spirit always advises us to focus on what we desire, because what we focus on is what we bring closer to us and manifest.

If you notice yourself worrying about your Twin Flame relationship and projecting ideas into the future of things going badly, try playing a game with yourself and “flipping” the thoughts to their opposite: “If this is what I’m so afraid of, what would the opposite of that be – What would the ideal, happy outcome look like?”

Our minds love looking for patterns and solving problems – it’s what helped human beings survive and evolve for hundreds of thousands of years, so it’s embedded deep in the wiring of our brains. Playing internal games like this is a huge help on this journey.

Another great help to “tame the worry” and shift your subconscious mind to help you rather than work against you, can be creative visualization – visualize and “daydream” about your ideal situation as if it had already happened.

I woke up a few nights ago with these words in my mind from my Twin Flame: “Believe that what you want has already happened, and it will.”

Manifestation can be either a blessing or a curse depending on how we use it – that part of the journey is always up to us, so be conscious of where you direct your thoughts and feelings. Our inner state has such a huge effect on the outer reality we attract and create.

Thanks so much for your question, Kristen! I hope this helps.

Sending you love and light on your journey <3

– Cassady x


For an easy, fun way to manage your mindset, elevate your vibration and harmonize your journey with your Twin, have a look at the Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames.

Alternatively you can try our Free starter kit

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