Q&A: Why You Should Forget All About Twin Flames

twin flames
Illustration: Pat Perry


This week’s question is an answer to many of the questions I get on a daily basis. Make sure you read through, as this might go deeper than it seems at first glance. If you felt angry or upset when reading this headline, good. It means your soul wants and needs you to hear this.

After hundreds of one on one sessions with Twin Flames and several years on the Ascension path myself I have been faced time and time again with the paradoxical truth that thinking about Twin Flames and over-focusing on Twin Flames can become the biggest problem on your Twin Flame journey.

You might want to read that one again to let it sink in. I know it sounds absurd but let me explain why it works this way.





Throughout human evolution the brain has become more and more hardwired to survival. We are conditioned over millions of generations to seek and find problems, pitfalls and dangers. So that we can avoid them or fix them. This is how we’ve survived.

Because our brains are wired this way even though we live in a modern society where we don’t directly have to concern ourselves with surviving from day to day; our brains go haywire. What I mean is that our brains are still seeking problems to solve. And that goes for your Twin Flame relationship too.

We live with the blueprint that life is supposed to contain problems. So if there’s no immediate problem at hand, our brains subconsciously look for one. And in energy terms it means we attract problems to solve.

My Twin Flame explained it to me like this: It’s like having a really excitable, clever sheepdog. If you use it to herd sheep the way it’s meant to, it will do an amazing job for you. If you leave it in your apartment all day, it will rip your house apart. 

This pattern is similar: Give your brain a job to do so it’s busy solving a “problem” you actually need solved, so it doesn’t search for and create difficulties with your Twin Flame. Creativity is great here – drawing, painting, dancing, making music or writing will all give your brain something to “chew on” so it stays away from creating stress in your love life.



When we spend time thinking and overthinking and reading about Twin Flames we end up inadvertently taking on others’ beliefs. And some of them aren’t good. There are plenty of sites about the plights of the Twin Flames and how challenging everything is.

All it takes is 20 seconds on Google, and you can read about the detailed hardships of someone whose runner Twin has gone AWOL for years, leaving his partner in the lurch, or about twins who have suffered while their counterpart married another. There are hundreds of sites and groups about the “stages” of the Twin Flame connection and thousands of articles on what you’re supposed to be doing and feeling.

The problem is that no one else shares your exact karma and energetic background, and taking on others’ stories actually creates limitations and blocks in your own energy.

Because in energy terms, beliefs become blueprints for creation. When we believe something to be true, it energetically “becomes true”. If you believe that life is hard, you are emitting that signal into the universe, aligning with experiences that match that belief.

There’s a famous analogy for from real life for how beliefs work: When elephants are being trained for work with humans, training starts when they’re babies. The baby elephant is regularly chained so securely to a big pole that it cannot move no matter how hard it pulls or what it does. It tries escaping over and over but it’s no use.

Eventually it stops trying. Then, when the elephant is fully grown it can be chained with small ropes and even though it’s the biggest and strongest land animal on earth, it doesn’t think it can get away – because it’s internalized the belief that it’s no use. It doesn’t even try anymore.

Be careful what you align your energy with and whose beliefs you take on. You’re the best judge of your own journey.

If you want to find out what beliefs are holding you back and clear them for good, I created an Intensive Energy Clearing Session for Twin Flames which takes you through that and more.


Another thing about engaging in debate about Twin Flames and analyzing our situation and others’, is energetic entanglements. Let me explain.

twin flame energy

Although we humans appear separate in our bodies, like there’s a barrier between me and you, that’s an illusion. On the energetic plane we are much more free flowing.

Every human being has an energy field around them. When we come into contact with other people, especially through communication where both sides are emotionally engaged, we match our energy to theirs and our energy field and theirs overlap.

This can lead to us taking on their energy and they ours, and even attachments. This can be extremely uncomfortable. If someone else is upset and traumatized by their experiences on the Twin Flame journey, needless to say you don’t want to take this on.

Make sure you shield yourself, especially if you’re energetically sensitive. I don’t mean to scare you, but I learned this way too late myself and knowing to keep my guard up would have saved me so much stress and pain on my journey.

When human beings get together – even if it’s on the internet, because energy has no limits – negativity can become intensified. Especially in groups where many are “venting” about their problems.

Remember that negativity breeds negativity. Energy attracts more of its like. Keep this in mind when choosing who you speak to and about what. Ask your guidance team to untangle you from others’ negativity.

Try the Free Help Kit for Twin Flames to begin cleansing your energy right now.



When we’re in our analytical mind all the time trying to figure out our Twin Flame connection, we’re actually energetically in the past and the future trying to either solve old problems or prevent new ones from happening. We’re in our mind and not present in our bodies.

This becomes an issue because it alienates us from our intuition. Your heart is where you’ll feel the truth about your Twin Flame connection. Don’t trust your mind to give you any answers.

It can only answer based on your previous experiences or those of others. And most of us have never experienced unconditional love before, so how can the mind explain it or even accept it? The Twin Flame connection really defies any earth based logic.

You have a direct connection to your Twin Flame that goes between your hearts.

If you still your mind and silence the stress (try showering, meditating, being creative, going for walks, playing with children and animals) you’ll be able to sense what is really being communicated between you and your Twin right now.

In addition, manifestation only really works from the present moment. All we ever really have is the present moment. The past and the future are mental constructs.

It’s a pretty out there and “Zen” concept, but you can probably feel it: Right here and now, is your attention in the room you’re in or are you mentally in a situation somewhere else? When your mind is away out of this present moment here and now – you’re not present. Practicing being present will help you regain calmness and manifest harmony and love.



This is probably the most infuriating and frequently given piece of advice on the Twin Flame path. “Just let them go”, “You have to release them”, “you have to surrender”…

It used to really irritate me. I now realize the most irritating thing was that no one explained how to do it, or what the point of it really was. All the explanations were hazy and it seemed like people didn’t actually know why it was so important.

My guides explained to me what it actually means. It means “please pull your energy back so it’s not out in the future meddling and creating stress and problems for yourself”.

Because when we are strongly focused on and worried about our Twin Flame relationship, we are sending out our energy into the future, and pushing stress and worry out in front of us.

And this energy creates blocks and congestion that often stop the very things we want from reaching us. So when we’re asked to let go, it’s so you clear the field for good things to reach you.

Letting go doesn’t mean that you have to give up ever being together, or that you have to stop loving your Twin or stop wanting to be with them. It just means, take back your energy and stop sending worry out there.


Deliberate Shock Tactics

Please keep in mind that this article has been finely angled to get you to think twice about your situation. “Forget about Twin Flames” doesn’t mean that you should forget about the term Twin Flames completely or never read another article about Twin Flames again or forget about your Twin Flame.

But one of the biggest problems I see on this journey is over-focusing and over-analyzing, creating stress and congestion energetically and ending up in a loop of negativity and confusion.

And at those times the best thing you can do for both yourself and your Twin, is to take a step back. Have a mental break. Focus on what feels light and happy. Reset your energy with the tools in the Free Help Kit and spend some time getting in touch with your inner guidance through play and enjoyment (enjoyment is a highly underestimated healing force). Stop driving yourself crazy.

The Downward Spiral

If I’m being a bit tough on you right now it’s because I’ve been there myself, I know that the spiral goes down and down, not up…

I know those times when you desperately need to hear from your Twin or just know or feel that everything will be OK in the future somehow and you end up trawling for answers for hours online. It doesn’t help. It actually makes things worse.

Because your energy is out there meddling with everything and causing blocks and congestion.

How To “Let it Go”

So shift your energy and your frame of mind: If you need to watch a silly film that’s all laughs and no plot line while stuffing yourself with popcorn for an evening, then do it! If you need to go out with some friends and dance and have a good time and forget all about spiritual development or your Twin, go for it!

If you need to spend some time with your family, eat a good meal and get grounded and brought back into the “real world” again, then great! Go for walks, hang out with animals, go on a trip. Anything that makes you feel good and solid and centered. The point is – give yourself a break every once in a while.

How to Enjoy the Connection More

Sometimes the best thing you can actually do within the Twin Flame relationship no matter what “stage” it’s in or what the situation is right now, is forget that you are “Twin Flames”.

Enjoy the connection. Feel the love that’s there. You and your Twin Flame are so much more than “generic Twin Flames”. You are unique souls and individuals with your own unique and special journey and experience and connection.

When you remove the baggage that comes with the whole “Twin Flame” concept and other people’s opinions that are inherent to that, you free yourselves up to enjoy and experience your connection in a much, much deeper and more open way.

Learn to manage your energy so it works for you and not against you. Then, you’ll feel more centered and in harmony. You won’t feel the intense need to rush into the future and figure everything out with your mind anymore. Get started here with the free Energy Cleanse tool and info for Twin Flames.

Until next time, sending you love and light for your continued journey <3

Cassady x



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